The Life Draft

2010 Life -- First Update

Life Commissioner — Fri, 12 Feb 2010 17:45:00 GMT

01/01 -- Xtina partying for New Year's +3
01/08 -- Ali Vegas video bio, +4, Snoop on Get That A Lot +3, Pusha T, Malice, Black Thought and Kamal, +3 each for Grindin' on Fallon, Steve Nash is awesome +2
01/10 -- Karlos Dansby +6 for game-winning TD vs. Packers
01/12 -- Charles Woodson +10 for Defensive Player Of The Year
01/13 -- RZA Parks and Rec audition +3
01/16 -- Reggie Bush +5
01/19 -- Aziz Ansari on Kanye +4
01/21 -- LeBron +3 for rapping to Forever, Jawad Williams +5
01/31 -- Obama sonning house repubs +4, Jamie Foxx +3 for Grammy's
02/12 -- Mobb Deep +10 each, Kenny, Ernie, Charles +5 each. LeBron +4 v. Magic, Barack +10 Michigan commencement, Big Z +4 for barbershop puppet appearance, LeBron +3, Hurley +5 for Lost, Drake +5, Lil Wayne +5 for Money to Blow, Lamar Odom +4 for Taco Bell ad appearance

2009 Best and Worst Of Life

Life Commissioner — Fri, 12 Feb 2010 17:13:00 GMT

The Worst:

What a bunch. We have 2 dookies, a murderer, 2 people responsible for the worst atrocity of 2009 -- District 9. And as usual, much of my vitriol is reserved for sportscasters...

-10:
Stuart Scott
Jay Bilas
Joe Buck
Johannes Mesherle (the Oscar Grant killer)
Troy Aikman
Neill Bloomkamp

-7:
Kyle Singler
Sharlto Copley

The Best 10 :

113 -- Chris Webber (+10) -- Gotta love a Michigan alum taking this spot down. Although now primarily making appearances only as "Corporate Chris" after being separated from GP, I still love him.

102 -- Gary Payton (+9) -- GP, GP... wherefore art thou, GP?

77 -- Bill Simmons (+8) -- Some of his act is beginning to tire for me, but he's still a consistent source of entertainment, and the has the best podcasts in the game.

73 -- Kanye West (+7) -- A strong, strong performance considering he didn't put out new music this past year. Can't wait for the new album.

65 -- Shaq (+6) -- Who knew? He's just consistently awesome.

47 -- LeBron James (+5) -- And the best is yet to come. If (when?) he wins the title this year, Jim could have a stranglehold on the title.

45 -- Barack Obama (+4) -- Damn, top 10, and he supposedly had a bad year? Watch out, 2010.

43 -- Charles Barkley and Kenny Smith(+3) -- The TNT guys just aren't the same to me, after I saw GP and C-Webb do it. It's like thinkin a Camry is the best possible car, and then upgrading to a Benz and realizing you just didn't now any better. And to be honest, they, especially Chuck, don't know what they're talking about half the time.

43 -- Jon Stewart (+1) -- Consistent greatness.

2009 Life Final Standings

Life Commissioner — Fri, 12 Feb 2010 17:03:00 GMT

Doooooo-doooooo-duh-doooooooooooooooooooo! And the winner is...

555 -- Kristin
438 -- Jim
381 -- Aaron
225 -- Everis
189 -- Kim
122 -- Brett

Congratulations, Kristin! It was a hard-earned victory during a year in which points were scarce. 2009 was the year of the Rowan, who undoubtedly would the #1 pick of eligible. Kristin took home the title largely due to her pick-up of the incomparable duo of Gary Payton and Chris Webber... the disbandment of whom has left a HUGE hole in her roster. So 2010 is truly anyone's game.

Jim showed the biggest improvement this year, grinding his way to 2nd as easily the most active owner. He worked his roster into a 2nd place finish without any one true bread winner. Could 2010 be his year?

Aaron seemed to enjoy the fruits of his labor a little too much, basking in glow of his 2008 title. But with a strong base (Barack, Kanye, Lil Wayne) and some Michigan football and Carolina basketball prospects, his team is built for now and the future.

Everis? Let's just say apathy set in.

Kim, you are still a mountain of untapped potential

Brett, you are a good sport.

Good luck to all in 2010.

Last Round Of 2009 Life

Life Commissioner — Fri, 12 Feb 2010 16:27:00 GMT

12/04 -- Bills Simmons column +4, Jay-Z AMA +4, Alicia Keys AMA +4, Eminem AMA +3, Tony Kornheiser +10 for cumulative work lately, Manu +4 for having twins
12/09 -- Malice and Pusha T +6
12/12 -- Rubio +3 vs. Cibona
12/13 -- DeSean Jackson +5, Donovan McNabb +5 v. Giants
12/14 -- Timbaland +3 for Morning After Dark
12/15 -- DJ Semtex Mos Def interview +4
12/16 -- Tracy Morgan +4, Tina Fey +4, Alec Baldwin +4, Raymond Felton +2
12/17 -- Reggie Miller calling Brandon Roy "Wah"!!! +4
12/18 -- Bill Simmons +5, Malcolm Gladwell +5 -- back and forth email article
12/21 -- KRS-One +4, Lupe Fiasco +4, Kobe +2, LeBron +4, Desmond +5, KRS-One as Santa Claus, Lupe Fiasco as Blitzen, and the Kobe and LeBron puppets: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LfcafAekkLs, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4b5xhW1KR_Y, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tS58I3hMnG4, Good Rae interview +4
12/22 -- Black Thought +3 w/ Raekwon +3 on Fallon, Mos Def +3 with the Roots, Jon Stewart +5
12/24 -- Bill Simmons trade column +5, Michael Wilbon +5 for Xmas show, Tony Kornheiser +5 for Xmas show
12/25 -- Mariah Carey +5 NBA
12/31 -- Michael Wilbon +10 for the year, Tony Kornheiser +10 for the year, Ted Danson +10, Jason Schwartzman +10, Zach Galifianakis +10, Jonathan Ames +10 all for Bored To Death, David Boreanaz +10, Emily Deschanel +10, T.J. Thyne +5 all for Bones

Stretch Run Life Update

Life Commissioner — Thu, 03 Dec 2009 21:09:00 GMT

09/05/2009 -- Denard Robinson +10, Tate Forcier +5, Double R +5, Junior Hemingway +3, Koger +5 for "the catch"
09/10/2009 -- Rob Thomas, great ESPN Mag piece, +7, Bill Simmons +4 for recent work, David Letterman +3
09/12/2009 -- Double R +5, Tate Forcier +10, Martavious +4, Stonum +7, Minor +7, Carlos Brown +3, Warren +2, Mathews +3
09/13/2009 -- Michael Jordan +10 HOF, David Robinson +10 HOF, Tim Gunn +2, Ra'mon +5, Adrian Peterson +3
09/15/2009 -- Charlie Murphy +4 Music video,
09/17/2009 -- Vince Young's gesture to McNair's sons, +10, Termanology "I See Dead People" video +3,
09/18/2009 -- Good Raekwon interview +3, Gilbert Arenas +5 Mt. Rushmore tattoo, Another Rae interview +5, Busta Rhymes goes nuts over Rae being #1 on iTunes +4
09/19/2009 -- Denard Robinson +5, Carlos Brown +5, Martavious Odoms +5, Michael Shaw +2
09/21/2009 -- VMA Empire State of Mind performance -- Jay-Z +3, Alicia Keys +3, Tim Gunn +3, Rachel Zoe +4, Brad +2, Pete Rock +10 for INI's Center Of Attention
09/23/2009 -- Saigon +3 for Gotta Believe It video
09/26/2009 -- Michigan vs. Indiana: Forcier +3, Carlos Brown +4, Martavious Odoms +4, Denard Robinson +1
10/03/2009 -- Andy Samberg +7 for On The Ground, Tate Forcier +5, Darryl Stonum +3
10/08/2009 -- Chris Rock on Polanski, +4, Roots +5 How I Got Over song and video,
10/10/2009 -- +3 for the Blake Griffin Era
10/12/2009 -- Braylon Edwards +10 for his NYJ debut, Rachel Zoe +10 for season and finale, Brad +4 for finale
10/14/2009 -- I Tim Westwood for some weird reason, +3, Lil Wayne +3, Def Jam Honors: Roots +3, Eminem +3, Russell Simmons +10, Rick Rubin +10, Chuck D +4, Scarface +2, Ludacris +2, KRS-One +2, Tracy Morgan +2, Warren G +5, ghostface +3
10/16/2009 -- RZA on Colbert Report, +2, Raekwon interview +3, Bill Simmons +5 for recent stuff, Mos Def +6, Roy Williams +5, Dean Smith +10
10/24/2009 -- Sports Guy NBA Preview +6, Tim Gunn +3
10/26/2009 -- Ghostface +5 for Impossible verse, Norman Chad +10 for WSOP coverage so far, Phil Ivey +3 on WSOP, 9th Wonder vlog +6
10/27/2009 -- Chuckster on David Letterman +4
10/28/2009 -- Jay Electronica +3, Just Blaze +3, Mos Def +3, Black Thought +2, Carmelo +2
10/29/2009 -- Cormega Freestyle +3, Cormega Journey video +3 soo good, RZA interview +2, Meth/Rae/Ghost trailer -- DOPE +4
10/30/2009 -- Ghost telling ghost stories, +3, Melo +3, Ty +1
10/31/2009 -- Jay Electronica +8
11/05/2009 -- Chuckster +5, CWebb +2
11/10/2009 -- Lamar Odom +2 and Ron Artest +2 for oranges
11/16/2009 -- Ty Lawson dunk +5, Tim Gunn +3
11/19/2009 -- Larry Drew II -- +3, Roy Williams +3, Deon Thompson +2, Ginyard +2, Dexter Strickland +3, John Henson +2, Travis Wear +2
11/20/2009 -- Brandon Graham (+10), No more Graham Crackers., Stevie Brown (+5), Greg Mathews (+5), Kevin Grady (+5),Brandon Minor (+10),Carlos Brown (+5),Jason Olesnavage (+3),Zoltan Mesko (+10)
11/29/2009 -- Kenan SNL What Up With That +7
12/01/2009 -- Snoop GPS voice skin +3, UNC vs. Michigan State: Will Graves +2, Ed Davis +4, Larry Drew II +5, John Henson +1, Dexter Strickland +2,
12/03/2009 -- Mos Def +10 for potential album of year, Black Thought +5 for musical contributions, Chuck Klostermann +7 for Eating The Dinosaur, Phil Ivey +7 for final table run, The Wear twins! +4, Peyton Manning +5, Vincent Smith +5 for chasing rabbits

End Of Pre-Baby Life

Life Commissioner — Tue, 01 Sep 2009 02:58:00 GMT

06/04/2009 -- Daniel Negreanu dresses up as Scotty Nguyen +3, KG +5 forthe finger on hand thing in playoffs, Kanye +5, Rihanna +3 for Paranoidvideo, C-Webb +3, GP +4 and Ahmad +3
06/08/2009 -- Elisabetta Canalis +8
06/09/2008 -- Rafer Alston +5, Pietrus +5, D12 +3, Hedo +3, SHARD ME! +3
06/16/2009 -- DJ Quik +4
06/17/2009 -- Negreanu vlog +10, Raekwon -- ordering a sandwich has never been this fun +5
06/25/2009 -- David Stern +8, Ricky Rubio +10, Jay Bilas -10, Stu Scott-10, Roy Williams +7, Tyler Hansbrough +5, Shaq +4, Adam Silver +5,Danny Green +3
07/01/2009 -- Buzz Aldrin video Kweli and Snoop +3
07/02/2009 -- Shaq press conference +3
07/03/2009 -- Eminem Beautiful video +5
07/04/2009 -- MJ golfing +3
07/12/2009 -- Shaqology lip sync +6, David Letterman +3
07/16/2009 -- Shaq's Beat It -- +4, Reflection Eternal "Back Again" video +5 to Talib Kweli and Hi-Tek
07/20/2009 -- Luna Lovegood +5, Jon Stewart +5, Tracy Morgan +4, Kenneth +3, Tina Fey +3, Common on Kid Cudi's "Make Her Say" +3, Old School Common +3
07/21/2009 -- Old Chappelle chicken jokes +3, U-N-I Land Of Kings video +3
07/22/2009 -- Manny -- +4 for bobblehead grand slam, Jon Stewart +5, Kevin Nealon +2 for Weeds, Mariah Carey +5 Obsessed video
07/26/2009 -- Buckshot and KRS-One +5 for Robot
07/27/2009 -- Shaq wrestling, +4, AI +7
07/30/2009 -- Big Boi w/ penguins +2
08/02/2009 -- LeBron +5 for autobiography, Jon Stewart +3 for shows, Tracy Morgan +5 for 30 Rock
08/04/2009 -- Manny +5, Jon Stewart +4, Eminem +7
08/06/2009 -- Delonte West Freestyle +4, Andre Ethier +5 for a walk-off
08/14/2009 -- Jordan still doing it, +4
08/19/2009 -- Dan Le Batard +5 for PTI, Jon Stewart +3 the Daily Show, Shaq +5 for Shaq vs.\
08/21/2009-- Vin Scully +10 for last few weeks of Dodgers games, Russell Martin+2 for HR, Manny Ramirez +5 for past few weeks of tomfoolery, JonStewart +3
08/22/2009 -- Chad Johnson +7, Marvin Lewis +2 for 1st 2 Hard Knocks
08/23/2009-- First Project Runway: Tim Gunn +5, Heidi +2, Nina +2, Michael Kors+2, District 9: Neill Bloomkamp -10, Sharlto Copley -7, Matt Kemp +3,Drake +4
08/26/2009 -- Rae and RZA +3 for House Of Flying Daggers video, new Brother Ali +2,
08/28/2009 -- Common +5 for Finding Forever, Kanye +5 for Graduation, Talib Kweli +3 for Eardrum, Nardwuar +4, Maxwell +5 for new album
08/30/2009 -- Twista +2 for Wanna See 'Em Buss video, Quentin Tarantino +9, Brad Pitt +5, other people I can't name w/ a lot of points too, for Inglourious Basterds, Mike Vick euphoria +5, Manny and Matt Kemp back-to-back HRs +3

March, April, May

Life Commissioner — Wed, 03 Jun 2009 20:13:00 GMT

03/22/2009 -- Bill Simmons +8, catch up points
03/22/2009 -- Shaq on NBA TV +3
03/24/2009 -- Ernie, Kenny, Chuckster +3 each
03/25/2009 -- Don't know what this is, but I love it, Prodigy +2, The Chuckster +5 for NBA TV appearance
03/26/2009 -- When Shaq retires, at least we'll have Dwight:, http://myespn.go.com/blogs/truehoop/0-38-363/Big--Strong--and-Silly.html, +5
03/26/2009 -- Villanova whole team +10 for knocking out Duke
03/26/2009 -- Bill Raftery +10 for Onions so far
03/26/2009 -- I heart Derrick Rose +3
03/28/2009 -- Gucci Mane -- Cocaine Money -- +3
03/28/2009 -- Awesome juice -- Z-Ro -- Top Notch -- +4
03/28/2009 -- Mos Def talking MF Doom -- +2
04/06/2009 -- Carolina title! +10 each
04/14/2009 -- Ernie, Kenny, Chuck, C-Webb -- +3 each
04/15/2009 -- Drake +6 So Far So Gone, Wayne +3
04/18/2009 -- Derrick Rose +5
04/19/2009 -- Birdman, J.R. Smith +2 each, C-Webb and Barkley +5 each for the bread eating challenge
04/20/2009 -- Bai Ling is awesome, +3, Mischa w/ ridic shoes, +2, Tony Parker +5 for Game 2 vs. Dallas, Kanye +3 for the Amazin' promo
04/21/2009 -- Eminem album cover, +2,
04/22/2009 -- Dikembe, +10, thanks for the memories, will.i.am and fergie +5 each for Boom Boom Boom, John Madden +10 thanks for the memories, Birdman +5 for the follow dunk and wing flap, EJ, Kenny, Chuck +4 each
04/25/2009 -- Drake +10 for So Far So Good cumulative, Fabolous +3 for Loso's Way preview, Yeezy and Jeezy +5 each for Amazing video, Jeezy +5 for the back catalog, Dik +3 for his bench interview
04/26/2009 -- JVG +3 in BOS/CHI game, EJ, Kenny, Charles, C-Webb +3 each
04/27/2009 -- C-Webb +2, GP +2
04/28/2009 -- Duncan and Tony +2 for joking on bench, GP and C-Webb +4 each
04/29/2009 -- Drizzy... Drake +10, again, MF Doom +5 for Born Like This, Charles, Kenny, EJ and C-Webb +3
05/01/2009 -- Busta, Wayne, Jada +2 for Respect My Conglomerate, Xtina +10 for People's 100 and saying she's a vampire, Yao and Ron Artest for their press conference +5, Eminem 3 A.M. video, +5, Cam'Ron Cookin' Up video +5
05/03/2009 -- JVG +2, Hubie Brown +4, Birdman Andersen +4, J.R. Smith +3
05/04/2009 -- Yao and Artest +5 each for win, Dhani Jones +5 for his show so far
05/05/2009 -- Jadakiss for "Block Lockdown" +2, Hubie Brown +2, Avery Johnson +2
05/09/2009 -- Ill Doom interview, Funny Kanye/88 Keys video +3 each
05/10/2009 -- Angelica Casanas, +6
05/13/2009 -- Bill Simmons work over the past month +10, Kanye +5 for recent blogging, old "Meet The LeBrons" outtakes -- LeBron +5, J.R. Smith +2, Melo +3
05/14/2009 -- Bill Simmons and Malcolm Gladwell, +7 each for great back-and-forth, Johnny Depp +5, Tim Burton +8, Winona Ryder +2 for Edward Scissorhands, Avery Johnson +4 for playoffs, Luis Scola +5, Shane Battier +10, Aaron Brooks +3, Carl Landry +3, Jon Stewart +4 for Pope show, Shaq +2 http://myespn.go.com/blogs/truehoop/0-40-77/Shaquille-O-Neal-s-Secret-Performance-Enhancement-Recipe.html
05/15/2009 -- Great Mos Def video +5
05/17/2009 -- JVG +2, Will Ferrell +6, EJ +2, Kenny +3, C-Webb +4
05/18/2009 -- Barack +4 ASU speech, Eminem German tv appearance +3
05/18/2009 -- Michelle Lombardo +5
05/20/2009 -- Jon Stewart +6, LeBron +5 Game 1 vs. Orlando, Eminem +8, Dr. Dre +8
05/21/2009 -- Chauncey +10, Melo +5
05/22/2009 -- LeBron +10 for "The Shot"
05/25/2009 -- J.R. Smith +10, Birdman +5, D'hani w/ Elephants +3, Murs Science video +3, Alana +3
06/03/2009 -- Kanye Spaceship video +3, 06/03/2009 -- Obama with a Carolina jersey! +3, ?uestlove +5 for tweets, Cam'Ron +4 for Crime Pays, LeBron +5 for being pissed after loss and great individual series, Gone Baby Gone: Ben Affleck, Casey Affleck, Amy Ryan +5 each, Drake and Wayne +6 for Every Girl, De La Soul +6 for Are You In?, Tanya Morgan +6 for Brooklynati, Cool Kids +6 for Gone Fishing, Curren$y +4 for This Ain't No Mixtape, Method Man and Redman +5 for Blackout 2, Saigon and Statik Selektah +5 for All In A Day's Work, DJ Muggs and Planet Asia +5 for Pain Language

sjb

February and Most Of March Life

Life Commissioner — Sun, 22 Mar 2009 07:05:00 GMT

Brandon Roy -- +2 -- buzzer beater vs. NYK
Bill Simmons -- +8 -- catch up points
Phil Ivey -- +3 -- On the dice tour
Obama -- +10 -- http://ta-nehisicoates.theatlantic.com/archives/2009/02/radio_silence.php
50 Cent -- +5 -- I Get It In
Buff1 -- +6 for There's Only One
Kanye +3 -- talking about how he dresses and then freestyling!
50 Cent -- +5 -- on his grind, lately
J.R. Smith -- +3 -- in dunk contest
J.R. Smith -- +10 -- Top 100 dunks -- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=knKcK-5ghVQ&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WppnxMTdQL8&feature=related
Bill Simmons -- +10 for deluge of podcasts and columns lately
Tim Duncan article -- +3 -- http://www.nba.com/2009/allstar2009/02/13/duncan_feature.allstar09.20090213/index.html
Gerald Green -- +5 -- cupcake dunk

Where Are You Yeezy?
Rosa Acosta +2
Jessica Burciaga +8
Ashalee Albar +6
Rhian Sugden +3
Daphne Joy +2
Sonae Ryder +3
Kianna Lynae +3
Joanna Shari +3
Alicia Machado +3
Sally Ferreira +3
Layla El +2
Layla Louise +3
Arielle Kebbel +5
Gabriela Bo +2
Lujan Fernandez +2
Missy Peregrym +2
Dulce Maria +4
Ariel Meredith +8
Gemma Atkinson +3
Eve Wrywal +6
Cameron Richardson +3
Susana Ruiz +3
Caroloina Marconi +3

02/10
Wayne on Around the Horn -- +3 -- http://nahright.com/news/2009/02/11/video-lil-wayne-on-espns-around-the-horn/
NBA TV Rewind -- Melo +3 for the cross up, Wilson Chandler +3 on the C's, Nene +4 on Joe Smith, T-Mac +4 lefty on Tyrus Thomas, GP +6, C-Webb +2
NBA TV -- "Just Eat It" rendition -- +5 each -- C-Webb, GP
NBA TV Game Time -- GP, C-Webb -- +10, Andre Aldridge -- +3

02/11
Carolina v. Duke -- Ty Lawson +8, Roy Williams +5, Wayne +3, Tyler +5, Danny +5, Bobby Frasor +5, Deon Thompson +3, Gerald Henderson -3, Kyle Singler -7, Jon Scheyer -5, Greg Paulus -5, Dick Vitale +3

02/12
Doc Rivers -- fired up +2, KG getting into it w/ Dirk +3

02/13 All-Star Friday
Celeb Game -- T.O. +3, Nancy Leibermann +2, Barkley +3 for new T-Mobile ad w/ legends, KG +2 for his 2K9 ad
Rookie Game -- D-Wade, D-Ho and Barkley +1 for their T-Mobile ad, Dwight Howard +5 for looking so much like a coach, Kevin Durant +5, Brook Lopez +2

02/14 -- Paris -- +2 -- http://www.people.com/people/gallery/0,,20258806,00.html?xid=rss-latestphotos
H.O.R.S.E. -- KD +5, O.J. Mayo +3, Joe Johnson +2, Ernie +1, C-Webb +5, Kenny +3
Reggie Miller -- -5, Cheryl Miller -- -7
Bill Russell - +5 for Finals MVP award naming
Shooting Stars - Admiral +2, Becky Hammon +2
Skills Challenge - Devin/Ludacris +2, Tony Parker +1, Eva Longoria +1, Derrick Rose +7 for dunk finale
Dunk Contest: D-Ho - +21, Kenny +2, J.R. +2, Nate +14, Rudy Fernandez +3, LeBron +5

02/15 -- GP Pre-Game interviews: GP +2, KG +2, Ray Allen +1, J.R. Smith +1, Shaq +2, Yao +1, Tim Duncan +1, Tony Parker +2
Pre-game TNT: GP +10, Bill Russell +5, C-Webb +3, Steve Smith +2, Dwight Howard +2
Shaq +10 for pre-game dance, East Starters +3
Game: A.I. +1, Amare +1, Shaq +3, T.O. +2 for glasses, GP, C-Webb +10, Ahmad +2

02/17 -- NBA TV GameTime -- GP +3, C-Webb +3, Shaq +3

02/18 -- Ralph Lawler +2

02/21 -- Soulja Boy -- Swag Up -- +5, Shaq +10, Charles Hamilton +10

Oscars -- Angelina +3, Sean Penn +10, Penelope Cruz +3

Soulja Boy -- Swag On -- +5

Teddy "Iceman" Monroe -- +3 for LAPC

Barack meets the Bulls --http://myespn.go.com/blogs/truehoop/0-38-248/The-First-Fan-Gets-to-Know-the-Bulls.html -- +3

Shaq as goalie +3 -- http://slamonline.com/online/media/slam-tv/2009/02/video-the-big-goalie/

Kanye -- Welcome To Heartbreak Video -- http://nahright.com/news/2009/02/17/video-kanye-west-feat-kid-cudi-welcome-to-heartbreak/ -- +4

Snoop's still got it +2

Heartbreak Drake's world, +5

This is awesome. Jay-Z +3

Murs is my dog. +2.

T.I. funny on his show, +3.
My man Charles Hamilton putting it down live, +3.
Killa Cam. Back in full mothafuckin' effizzect. +10.

Obama with a beer at an NBA game? +10

03/01 -- JVG +2, Mark Jackson +1, Shaq +3, Will Ferrell +5 (Old School)

Charles Hamilton on Carson Daly... interesting every time +3
PUTS -- +5 for Fun DMC
Jon Stewart +5 for recent shows
Kanye +5 for blogging
J.R. Smith balling lately +5

03/05 -- Inside NBA -- Ernie +2, Kenny +5, Charles +5

03/08 -- Ty Lawson +5, Roy Williams +3, Hansbrough +3, Wayne Ellington +5, Danny Green +5

Tim Duncan +10 for being Tim Duncan

D-Wade +5, Double OT game-winner

03/10 -- Chris Webber +5, Ahmad Rashad +3
03/11 -- Charles Barkley on Haney Project +4

03/13 -- Tony Kornheiser +2 for popping Binghamton jersey
Kanye blogging +3

03/17 -- NBA GameTime -- C-Webb +6, GP +6
03/19 -- Hansbrough +10 -- all-time leading ACC scorer, Michigan Team +10 for making tourney, +10 for beating Clemson

Rob Dyrked --- -5 for terrible new show

Penelope Cruz/Scarlett Johansson +5 each for Vicky Cristina Barcelona
Sean Penn +10 for Milk

Ali Nejad/Joe Sebok/Gavin Smith/Cort Harrington -- Recent PokerRoad Radios +5 each
Scott Huff -- +5 -- all his hosting

Justin Timberlake -- -5 -- That damn T.I. song

Ben +2 for most recent Lost

2009 Grammy's Life

Life Commissioner — Mon, 09 Feb 2009 08:17:00 GMT

Robert Plant and Alison Krauss? Running shit? I don't get it. Maybe it's great, but I continue to be amazed, year after year, that I've never heard of the Album Of The Year winner, considering I do follow music to some degree. Last year it was Herbie Hancock does Joni Mitchell or something... I'm not saying I know all there is to know about music -- maybe it's great -- but it does seem suspicious that the winners of the most prestigious awards tend to be old folk. I'm just saying. I did like the first song they performed live, though.

My vote? I would have gone with Tha Carter III, I think. But at least that got Best Rap Album (+3), deservedly. The other nominees seemed to be there on rep more than this year's results.

Overall I liked the show. I didn't know about Jay-Z doing his verse with Chris Martin, so that was a nice surprise. I love that verse (+3). I also thought it was interesting that Jay-Z went with the more "Hip-Hop Conservative" look of baggy jeans, jacket, etc. when in the national spotlight. Meanwhile, when he's at a Nets/Knicks game or whatever, he keeps it way more risky.

He completely stole the show, though, on the style and swagger front, when he (+7) and the boys (Kanye +3, T.I. +3, Wayne +5) did Swagger Like Us. And what the hell was M.I.A. wearing? Love her for appearing ON her due date, though! That whole performance was monumental. What if they really did take over Vegas "Rap Pack" style? It would be awesome.

My favorite Kanye moment -- the performance (+4) with Estelle (+2). Loved the silver outfit theme.

My favorite Wayne moment -- the N.O. song performance +5 with Robin Thicke +2.

Other notes: Katy Perry -- nice outfit and colorful set +3, T.I. +3 for his second performance even though I don't like that song, Jamie Foxx and Ne-Yo fun as Four Tops fill ins (+2 each), nice jacket Puffy, +1, Paris Hilton with a lingerie outfit choice +3,

Quick Dump To Be Completely Caught Up After My Grammy's Review Life

Life Commissioner — Mon, 09 Feb 2009 08:07:00 GMT

02/06
Biz Markie On Inside The NBA!!! +4

02/07
Stuey Douglass +5 vs. UConn

02/08
Matt Bonner, The Red Rocket, +3 for his 1st half against Boston
Hubie Brown -- +3 Celtics. vs. Spurs
JVG +2 during Lakers/Cavs game
Obama admitting he was wrong about an appt. +5. Bush ever do that?
A.I. with an awesome full-court bounce pass +3
Travis Outlaw +4 for recent play

Possible New Record For Biggest Point Dump Life

Life Commissioner — Sat, 07 Feb 2009 06:31:00 GMT

Skillz +7 for wrap up
Will Smith +3 for I Am Legend

Vinsanity +3, Stuckey +4, A.I. +2, KD +5, Melo +2

Kardinal -- +3, interview

Weezy +3 -- Gatorade Ad

Murs interview +3

Funny jokes, Consequence and Busta Bus +3 each

Ghostface live, +2

Cornel West is my dog, +4

Eagles vs. Vikings -- McNabb +5, B-Dubs +5, Assante +7, Kevin Curtis +2, DeSean Jackson +5, Brian Dawkins +4

True Blood -- Lizzy Caplan +6 for Boobie Town

Step Brothers -- Will Ferrell +3, John C. O'Reilly +3

Kid Cudi +7 -- Day N Nite

Wayne -- +3 On ESPN

Stoupe The Enemy Of Mankind -- +7 -- A History Of Violence

Saigon blog entry... hot. swagger. whatever you call it. good. +3.

Jada's letter to B.I.G. -- +10

Ron Browz +7, Jim Jones +5, Juelz +3 -- Pop Champagne

Amy Poehler and Set Myers -- +7 Really

Skillz Wire "Rap Up" -- +3

Ceatles vs. Bobcats -- Felton +2, KG +2

Kanye billboard -- +1

N*E*R*D -- +3 -- Sooner Or Later video

Busta Rhymes talkin' -- +3

Nore vlogs... entertaining. +4

The Birdman! Chris Andersen, +5, vs. Miami, +10 for the past few weeks

J.R. Smith +3 vs. Miami

Mighty Underdogs -- +5 for album

Johannes Mesherle -10, even in the best possible case, it's gross negligence

Manu +3 vs. Clippers

Ta-Nehisi Coates -- +3 recent blogging

Ralph Lawler +3 vs. Spurs

T.I. +10 for Day of T.I.

Paris Hilton, +3, craft kits

Kanye, +3, recent blogging

Illa J, +6, Yancey Boys, so good

Bill Simmons, playoffs round 2, +5

Ray Lewis -- +4 -- GET YO MOUTH TO' OFF AHMAD HALL!

Wale -- "I just protect heart (Hart) like Michigan line"

Kanye blogging -- +5

Carine Roitfeld, +3, She seems awesome.

Aceyalone freestyle, +2

Eagles vs. Giants:
Assante! +7, Donovan +3 early, +7 for picking the phone up, and +5 for whole game, Goooo-cong +2, Andy Reid -- playoff beard -- +3
Joe Buck and Troy Aikman criticizing phone incident -10

Tom Cruise -2 for Valkyrie preview

Golden Globes:
J-Lo +2, Beyonce +2, Eva Longoria +2, Don Cheadle +3 for funny, Anny Paquin +3 for the win, Johnny Depp +1, Salma Hayek+3

Asher Roth -- I Love College -- +2

01/13 NBA -- Dikembe +3 back on a bench, Birdman at the buzzer +3, Lamar +2 interview, Dahntay Jones +3 for serving Damp breakfast, J-Creezy +3 crossing up Sasha, C-Webb and G.P. +7 on game night

01/14 NBA -- JVG +3 for his ramp debacle, Manu +5, Roger Mason +3, Tim Duncan +4 vs. Lakers, Kobe -5 for screwing up Cassell dance

Wyclef -- +5 -- doing what he can for Haiti

Sway is another one of those dudes that I could listen to talk about anything for any period of time. +5

Common breaking down UMC, +5

Yurizan Beltran, +3.

Freida Pinto, +5

B.o.B +5
Obama +10 inauguration
Puffy +1 well-dressed inauguration

Inside The NBA '09:

C-Webb -- +10
GP -- +10
Kenny -- +10
Ernie -- +5
Yao -- +1

Lost S5E01:

Sayid +3
Sawyer +3
Hurley +4

Underworld:

Kate Beckinsale +5

GP and C-Webb talk Nene marriage, +5 each

Kanye for his LV shoes! +5

01/25 b-ball -- JVG +2, Dikembe +3
01/26 -- Josh Smith on Nash, +5

01/27 -- POR vs. LAC -- Eric Gordon +3 for dunk on LaMarcus, Brandon Roy +5 for dunk on Cheikh Samb -- NASTY
01/27 -- GP and C-Webb +5 each

01/28 -- GP and C-Webb +5 each, re-watching rewind
01/28 -- Jada +5 for Letter to B.I.G. video, D-Wade +3, awesome oop play vs. WAS, JVG describing Cuban giving him wet willie, +2, T.J. Ford +2, Earl Watson -5, Talib reviews Notorious +2
01/29 -- Tony Parker crossover, +3,
01/31 -- 50 getting it in on Rick Ross, +3

Sheed, +5, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=suqdPykwS_0

Saigon, "Breathe Through The Years", +5

Kate Moss +4 for this White Stripes video

Jay-Z, NaS, Ghostface for old school music listening session +10 each
Kanye +5 for fashion week blogging
Jordan +10, Tribe +5 for Tribe shoes
Ne-Yo +10, Kanye +3 for Back Like That Remix
Jay-Z +6, Jeezy +4 Prez Is Black Remix
Akon +3 for Hero

01/29
Inside the NBA: GP +5, C-Webb +3, Kenny +3, Ernie +3
LeBron out of nowhere dunk, +2
Marv +3 for bringing the big game feel

02/01
Super Bowl
Steve Breaston +3, +2 (4th q catch)
AZ TE +4
Anquan Boldin +2
James Harrison +5 (even though it pains me, that ish was ill)
Larry Fitzgerald +3, +5
02/03
Mo Williams to LeBron oop, +3 each
GP on NBA TV +10, Alonzo Mourning +3
Andre Iguodala on Yao +5
Manu on Hilton Armstrong +5
02/04
Lost
MIles +!
Jin +3
Nas +5 for Nas Is LIke... DJ Premier +1
Santogold +8 for Brooklyn Go Hard and Shove It

2008 Best and Worst 10 of Life

Life Commissioner — Thu, 08 Jan 2009 23:46:00 GMT

Don't forget... get your 09 roster updates in now.

The Life Draft's Person Of The Year? Kanye to the, muthafuckin' West.

Top 10:

199 -- Kanye West +10

He couldn't quite crack the 200 point mark, but it was definitely his year, with the tour, Graduation hoopla, and his blog. And then what sealed the deal was his surprise album at the end of the year.

158 -- Kevin Garnett +9

ANYTHING IS POSSSSIBLE!!!!!!!! The Ceatles. Awesome. One of the more entertaining Playoff runs in recent memory.

155 -- Charles Barkley +8

The Chuckster does it in small chunks, staying on his grizzly. But can he get his mind right for '09? The shows haven't been super-entertaining so far, and he has his little DUI situation to deal with. And... are C-Webb and Gary Payton the new Kenny and Chuck?

151 -- Kenny Smith +7

This is on some sidekick ish, but he does his part.

151 -- Lil' Wayne +7

I would have thought Wayne would have been higher, but his presence is strictly music. Somebody should have gotten me concert tickets, and he would have had a lot more points.

117 -- Bill Simmons +5

The columns are good, but it's all about the podcasts. I fiend for his discussions of every last detail of NBA trades and the weekly lines predictions with Cousin Sal.

116 -- Rob Dyrdek +4

Oh Rob and Big... you are so missed.

115 -- Barack Obama +3

Obama for mankind!

108 -- Ernie Johnson +2

The sidekick of the sidekick even benefits!

102 -- Paul Pierce +1

PEEZY! Ridiculously clutch and good in the Playoffs.

The highest scoring player to never be owned last year? Big Baby Davis. His championship celebrations were awesome.

Bottom 10:

-50 -- Billy Packer -- Oh the fury. The angriest I was all of last year involved his just plain stupid comments during Carolina's Final Four loss.

-44 -- G-Dubs -- Kill a known acquaintance... be an idiot... make the world angry... good job, buddy.

-33 -- Dirk Nowitzki -- Can't stand him as a basketball player.

-31 -- The Kobster -- Just imagine how many negative points he would rack up if I was forced to watch him all the time? He did start off the New Year on a positive not, at least, with that block.

-30 -- Reggie Miller -- Honestly... how does that horribly grating voice he has earn him a major announcing job?

-26 -- Matthew Fox -- SHUT. UP. JACK.

-16 -- Elizabeth Mitchell -- A show I like so much illicits so much negativity... SHUT. UP. JULIETTE.

-16 -- Elton Brand -- Dook Snake. Part 2.

-15 -- Bret Bielema -- The worst person in the world.

-12 -- Todd Blackledge -- Yet another sports announcer... the bain of my existence, it seems.

Only person owned amongst those schlubs?, G-Dubs, but only briefly.

Other owned negatives? Justin Timberlake (a curious pick, at best) and Stuart Scott (past his prime).

The End Of '08 Life

Life Commissioner — Tue, 06 Jan 2009 22:23:00 GMT

Thank you to everyone who participated in the first ever season of the Life Draft. I had a lot of fun and even learned a few things. One thing I learned is that while stuck in a dead end job, I had a LOT more time to enjoy frivolous stuff. I don't have an exact count, but I'm pretty sure after I started my new job, total life points probably were cut in half. This doesn't mean my life was half as good, though, just happiness coming from ineligible life draft sources. If inanimate objects were allowed, my new job would have made a strong run at the end of the year. And beer probably would've outscored everybody! Margs would have been up there, too, ha.

And the winner is...

Aaron -- 1211
Kristin -- 1039
Everis -- 802
Jim -- 634
Kim -- 551
Brett -- 319

Congrats, Aaron. You used a mix of knowledge and strategy to take home the title of 2008 Life Draft Champ. Your championship prize is in the works. Key players: Barack Obama, Kanye West (appropriately, his first two picks in the draft) and Lil Wayne (an unbelievable steal in the draft). With that trio, Aaron enters '09 as an odds on favorite to repeat.

Kristin put up a valiant effort, but was unable to take full advantage of her constant inside info. Key players: Kevin Garnett, Bill Simmons and MANU GI-NO-BILIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!!! Kristin had some trouble in the draft, taking solid-but-not-spectacular players early like Paris Hilton and Ludacris, along with complete duds like Tony Kornheiser and Jackie Chan. But smart pick up after smart pick up (Tim Gunn, QT!, Manu, etc.) kept her in it till the end.

Everis was pretty much stuck in no man's land most of the year, in 3rd. After putting in a great draft (Charles Barkley, Jay-Z, Tyler Hansbrough and Paul Peezy), he did not follow up with the necessary day-to-day roster working. Of course, this was very expected, given his history of fantasy sports laziness.

Now to the "alternative" portion of the contest. Kim and Jim chose to primarily use only players that they too liked. An interesing, albeit sure to lose, approach. Out of this oddball strategy, however, came a very evenly matched contest within the contest. Jim ended up taking it down largely due to the one man, and one man alone -- Rob Dyrdek. During one of my favorite moments of '08, Rob racked up 48 points in one night, breaking Guinness record after Guinness record. Pure awesomeness. Kim's leading scorer? The underated Jeff Van Gundy. Don't sleep on him in '09.

Brett? He is what we thought he was. The worst possible fantasy sports participant.

Now on to 2009. The slate is clean, and everyone is back in it! As a little bonus, any add/drops made through the end of this week (Saturday night), will be retroactive for this year.

The Final '08 Point Dump

Life Commissioner — Mon, 05 Jan 2009 08:57:47 GMT

This is the last of the point dumps... then I'll do the magical calculation... then the exulted winner shall be announced...

Jay Electronica, Exhibit A, +5
Donovan McNabb, -3, not knowing OT rule? Come on.
Braylon Edwards, -5, terrible fantasy season.
Ta-Nehisi Coates, +10 election blog coverage
Tony Parker huge game, +3
Young Jeezy and NaS, my president, +10
Justin Feagin QB appearances, +3
Barack, +10, Obama for mankind
DJ Khaled, T-Pain and Kanye, +5, Go Hard
Trick Daddy, Fuck The Other Side, +5
Ralph Lawler, +10, retroactive for the season
Freddy Adu, +3, first U.S. national goal
'Sheed vs. Cleveland, +3
Kevin Durant, good dunk, +2
Michigan b-ball -- Manny Harris +3, Stu Douglass +3, DeShawn Sims +3
T.I. +3, Young Jeezy +3
Inside The NBA -- Charles, Chris, Ernie, Kenny +5 each
Avery Johnson, Bill Walton +2 each
Michigan beats Duke:
DeShawn Sims -- +5, Manny Harris -- +4, Kelvin Grady -- +3, Zack Novak -- +2, Stuey Douglass -- +1
Freeway +10 for Month Of Madness thus far
Blake Lively, Mariah Carey +3 for People pics
Christian Siriano +3 for People segment
Scott Huff +10 for Two Jacks catch up
Nas live performance, +4
Anderson Cooper +3 for Michael Phelps interview
Trick Trick on Yung Berg chain incident. Funny. +3
Common love the kids: +3
C-N-N -- +5 -- The Argument
good: I Am -- Novel +3, Talib Kweli +3
Jon Stewart +5
NBA Gametime -- Shaq +3, GP +3, C-Webb +3
Trick Trick, +3 for more interviews
Common +2, various interviews
DJ Premier -- +6 -- AWESOME
Good Luda interview, +3
Jay Smooth's latest, +2
Jay-Z +3, Brooklyn Go Hard

TV --> House marathon: Hugh Laurie -- +10, Olivia Wilde +10, Kal Penn +3, Lisa Edelstein +3, Omar Epps +3, 1st half of True Blood: Anna Paquin +5, Michael Raymond-James +3
Movies --> The Assassination Of Jesse James...: director Andrew Dominik +5, Brad Pitt +5, Casey Affleck +3, Seven Pounds -- Will Smith +3, Rosario Dawson +3
Music -->
Kanye +8 for 808's and Heartbreak
Beyonce +5 for Single Ladies
88 Keys +3 for Death Of Adam

Out Of The Doldrums Life

Life Commissioner — Wed, 19 Nov 2008 08:57:00 GMT

I'm back ya'll, hopefully to update this a little more as we enter the home stretch. Carolina finally shook me out of the doldrums of not updating!

Carolina is awesome. Missing two of their starters, they still gave it to Kentucky. I love the freshman... Weezy is as pure as ever... Tywon may not have improved, but he hasn't slowed down, either... Will Graves from 3!

Deon Thompons, +4. On steroids, perhaps? Uppers of some sort? Tyler's brain and heart transplanted into his body?
Wayne Ellington, +3.
Ed Davis, +3. The condor part 2?
Tywon is so fast. +3.

Other miscellanea:

Great NBA preview. Bill Simmons, +3.

Sometime in the ether of Oct-early November:

J.R. Smith +3
Travis Outlaw +3
Hubie Brown +5
JVG and Mark Jackson +5
Barack Obama +10
Barack Obama +10
Barack Obama +10
Kanye West +8
Allen Iverson +5
Joe Dumars +3
Rudy Gay +6
The Condor +7
+3, E-40, Awesome. http://nahright.com/news/2008/11/14/video-e-40-speaks-on-hustle/
Luda +5 for the song, T-Pain +2 for song and +3 for being angel/devil on shoulder

Random Michigan game I never posted:

Brandon Minor, +10.
Lil' Martavious, +1
Steven Threet, +5.
Double R, +3.
The Machete, +5.

Denzel Washington, +10, Remember The Titans.
Rudy Gay, +5.
LeBron, +7, commercial.
Allen Iverson, +5, on Pistons.

What Has Life Come To Life

Life Commissioner — Sat, 01 Nov 2008 12:00:00 GMT

I skipped a Vegas trip to work!!! What? Huh? How'd that happen? I don't even know who I am anymore...

NaS +5 for "Last Real..."

T.I. and Rihanna (Yes, Rihanna!), +10 for "Live Your Life". It'll always remind of the awesome weekend I had with Kristin, Colleen and Elena.

Also, Colleen laughed real, real hard in the car, remembering this:

"What? Huh? Oil? Who said something 'bout oil, bitch, you cookin'?"

Is Black Bush the best comedic skit ever? Literally? It might be.

Dave Chappelle, +10.

Gotta vote, gotta vote, gotta vote:

Manny Ramirez revenge HR... +3

J.J. Arrington -- +3 -- kickoff return TD vs. Dallas

Stevie Breaston! +3! Touchdown vs. Cowboys

Larry Fitzgerald -- +5 -- awesome receiver

Thank you, Yeezy:

Jennifer Santiago, +7
Marisa Jara, +3
Halle Berry, +10, award
Estelita Quinteros, +4
Jessica Cirio, +3
Nadine Velazquez, +6
Paola Corvea, +4
Diora Baird, +5

I like the Love Lockdown video. Kanye +3.

Chris Rock +5 for first couple "Everybody Hates..."

Obama you ol' jokester, you! +5

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v5SWQJWm6Tg

Colin Powell, +4. He makes a really, really important point in the first video. Well said.

Hot Murs video/mural. I'll give him the credit, +3.

Fah shiggedy. E-40 interview, +2.

Amy Poehler +5, Palin Rap

The Olsen Twins, fashion stars, +10.

New Beyonce video, +5.

NBA Opening Night Life:

Chuck, Ernie and Kenny pre-game +1
Sam Cassell ring +1
The Powe Show! +3 on opening night
Weezy part of the intro music! +2

Bill Simmons quote from his basketball podcast on Boris Diaw: "He'll intimidate a croissant." +3

Last Day Of Old Job Life

Life Commissioner — Fri, 10 Oct 2008 18:30:00 GMT

Gotta give T.I. a solid +6 for his new album. It's great... but I had heard so much of it already! That is one of my problems with it. My other is forced pop collabos. Keep Rihanna and Justin Timberlake off your shit. Thanks.

I guess I have to weigh in on the Murs album by now, as well. I can only go +4. It's good... but not the homerun I thought he was gearing up for. Maybe it'll grow on me?

Obama Concert/Rally. Wyclef +5, Pitbull +1, Jay-Z +3

Thank you, Yeezy:
Petra Nemcova, +6

Jay Electronica Freestyle, +2

Common/Pharrell -- Universal Mind Control -- +3 each

Bills Simmons picks podcast -- I love these things -- +2

Andy Samberg -- Mark Wahlberg Talks To Animals -- +6
Kristen Wiig -- being funny -- +2

Jon Stewart -- +3 -- recent Daily Shows

Scarface entertaining (and drunk?) interview. +2.

Excellent column on Elgin Baylor by the Sports Guy. +3. And +10 to Elgin for history.

"Michael Curry has named the starting five as Chauncey Billups, Rip Hamilton, Rasheed Wallace, Tayshaun Prince, and Amir Johnson, with Rodney Stuckey, Jason Maxiell, and Antonio McDyess coming off the bench.
This announcement allows for Amir Johnson to be moved up confidently on draft boards"

The paragraph gets my mouth watering... literally.

The sky is the limit for young Amir. So good. So awesome.

Amir +5.

Manny Ramirez, +10. I've loved the Manny Experience in L.A.... so this is a retroactive point awarding.

And -10 to Tim McCarver. Old fuck.

+10 to Rae and RZA when they go in at about the 1:51 mark on North Star.

Some great stories from Devin, here. +3.

Weezy performing A Milli, live, backed by the Roots? ?uestlove YELLING "A MILLI"!?!?!?!??!?!?! I'm tearing up from joy. This restores all my hope in humans. +10's all-around!!!!

Weekend Life

Life Commissioner — Mon, 06 Oct 2008 08:32:00 GMT

Chris Rock on Larry King -- +3

Luda +1 for fun in the studio. But what the hell is C-Murder doing there?

I love J Smooth and the RZA. Awesome. +5 each.

+2 for recent blogging, Kanye

+5 to Andy Samberg for more Space Olympics... "you do it for the love... my love"

Diddy wiling on Palin. Ha. +4.

Thank you, Yeezy: Latoiye, +6.

Being Madden, Pit. vs. Jax, +1.

Warren Sapp breaking down the OAK situation on NFL Live, +2.

Project Runway -- tim gunn, +4, awesome

Matt Damon on Sarah Palin, funny. +3.

Old school Chris Rock. +4.

Bill Simmons column. +4, +2 for picks podcast.

Tim Gunn +3 for his makeover show.

Gross defensive effort vs. Illinois... Sam McGuffie +3, Martavious Odoms +2.

Life, starring.... babies!

Life Commissioner — Sun, 05 Oct 2008 09:47:00 GMT

It's hard enough to have a pregnancy not work out... shit sucks. But then to have EVERY SINGLE ENTERTAINMENT AVENUE IN YOUR LIFE all of a sudden pop up a baby storyline?

Really, Bones? An abandoned baby episode?

Really, One Tree Hill? Out of nowhere Brooke wants a baby and gets to take care of one that needs surgery?

Some ridiculous show talking about people creating "doll babies" and totin' 'em around like they are real? The lady literally puts doll parts on a pan and bakes them. WHAT?!?!??!

You're kidding, right? Fucking Breaking Dawn is centered around a goddamn vampiric pregnancy?

The Weeds mom is pregnant? Honestly?

And then to top it off an acquaintance has virtually (what would have been) our identical due date? And then my sister is pregnant?

Guess it's all therapeutic... but I'd rather have a Tempur-Pedic.
Relax, ma. I got pies and cakes.

And on that note... a Hip-Hop classic from my youth... err... college:

Styles P., +10, Holiday. And Swizzy too, I guess. +5.

You heard it from the P, you oughta know it's the truth,
I'll get you kidnapped and raped and thrown off a roof.
You could nod your head to this, like it's only a rap,
'Cause when these bullets hit your ass, I'm like 'it's only a gat'.
I need a funeral to feel good, I'm hopin' it's yours.
Think he religious? Heard he got shot in the cross.
Holiday Styles, bitch I broke most of the laws.
Fuck with the Porsche or flip to the booths, stick to the truth.
Do anything it takes just to get to this loot
Ain't missing a tooth but both of 'em chipped,
Toaster is gripped.
You heard about the trouble, I'll start most of the shit.
When I'm squeeze, ain't no controlling the wrist.
And niggas leave the room when they hear the P flowing to Swizz.
I'm an ignorant and negative nigga.
I sell crack, bust guns, pop shit and say I'm better than niggas.
You think not, I'll look at your man and level a nigga.
If you think a rapper's better, why don't you give me his name?
So I can run up on him, tear him up, and give you his frame.
When it comes to the streets, I'm the nigga to call.
5'8" and three quarters, but I'm bigger than ya'll.
If I left the gun home, I'm a give you the sword.
I'm the devil in the flesh, I can't give you the Lord.
It don't make no sense for you to pray for your life,
I got my niggas in the crib, you oughta pray for your wife.

[Chorus]
Ho-li-day.
I gotta make it to Heaven for going through Hell,
Ho-li-day.
And I don't care if I sell, ya'll know what I sell.
Ho-li-day.
I use my left hand when I'm loading the shells.
Ho-li-day.
'Cause I know it ain't right, that's why I'm blowing an L.

[Verse 2]
I do it all for my niggas, even ride with a bomb,
Get shot, die in his arm and give him my last.
It's a million dollar bail, I'm a get him the cash.
I sell crack like it's '88, I live in the past.
You know the P carry the gun, live in the mask,
Tell niggas, 'Show me the money and give me the stash'.
I like Malibu and pineapple, 50s of hash,
Hundreds of dro,
Wear my clothes a week in a row.
Sleep on the floor, catch me right next to the dog.
I'm Holiday Styles, and that's what the weapons are for.
And I probably won't blow for the fact that I'm hard,
But I'm good with ten million in the back of the car.
Either that, or get life and live the 'Rak in the yard,
Gettin' juice from the old-timers stashing the cards.
But jail ain't part of the plans.
I keep weight on the scale 'cause I feel I get further with grams.
In my last few bars,
I run through niggas, like my last few cars,
And crash 'em up.
The boy mighta went platinum but don't gas 'em up.
I'll get his length and his width and get his casket cut.
I don't deal with the snakes and fakes,
But I deal with the comas and wakes,
I don't make mistakes.
Double-R, now bitch, you oughta know I'm the Ghost,
Blow up your face, blow up the coke and blow up the smoke.

Chorus x2

Muzic Life

Life Commissioner — Sun, 05 Oct 2008 08:54:00 GMT

I wrote a paper about this song, senior year, high school, English class. I probably even have it somewhere... Word to Mr. Graf!

Boogiemonsters -- "Muzic Appreciation (Sweet Music)"

I'm obsessed with her, I'm my best when her --
Thickness surrounds me, I'm blessed by her.
See I've fallen so deep, deep for who she be,
Infatuated with the many, many styles of she.
I wish I could undress her, I wish I could caress her.
Like she does my soul, but, I am so much lesser.
She's always there for me, when I need her like my moms,
Relaxing all my drama, I come into her arms.
It's so deep, that very few people understand,
How she came into my life, and made me into man.
Many thresholds of negative stress stand in my way,
But when I'm weary, she comes down from Heaven greeting me sway.
If you was in the physical, you would the best,
With lips, and eyes, and hips and thighs and breasts,
I pull you with, uh, too much to take at one time,
I push you from my mind,
I put you in a rhyme,
So everyone can get a little taste of your sweetness.
Too much passion for self, delf mission's in completeness.
I treat this as my first and last and only love,
My chocolate companion, descended from above.
In and out I slide losing the rhythm.
God sent you here for me, so this can't be forbidden.
But you are beyond me, and I think I gotta get over she.
Because what do you do when your baby doll is sound?
You can freak the tracks, but, you can't settle down.
The world brings me pain but she'll take that pain and use it.
She's underwater I guess,
Women just can't love me like...

Music, sweet music x3